Your child comes home from school, quieter than usual. When you ask about their day, they give a short, vague answer. It’s easy to brush it off as just a bad day, but sometimes, there’s more beneath the surface. Bullying often goes unnoticed, especially when it takes forms beyond the physical.
Bullying is more than just playground fights or shoves in the hallway. It comes in many varieties, and each can have a lasting impact. As parents, recognizing these different forms is key to protecting our children’s emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. In this guide, we’ll walk through five of the most common types of bullying and provide insights on how to identify and combat them.
By understanding these varieties, you’ll be better equipped to support your child and take action, whether that’s starting conversations or helping them build confidence through activities like martial arts or a structured workout routine. Let’s begin with one of the most easily recognized types: physical bullying.
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Physical Bullying
Physical bullying is the most visible form of aggression and can leave a lasting mark, both physically and emotionally. It typically involves hitting, kicking, pushing, or other forms of violence that cause immediate harm. This type of bullying is straightforward-it’s about asserting dominance through physical force.
Children who experience physical bullying may come home with bruises or scratches, but not all signs are this obvious. Sometimes, they may complain of frequent headaches or stomachaches, which could be their way of avoiding school where the bullying occurs.
In a survey conducted across Canadian schools, about 1 in 5 students reported being physically bullied at some point during their education. U.S. statistics show similar trends, with roughly 20% of students experiencing bullying that involves physical aggression.
Real-life stories from children in both Canada and the United States highlight how devastating physical bullying can be. One child, for example, faced repeated bullying during recess, eventually withdrawing from social activities altogether. Thankfully, through open dialogue and involvement in a Taekwondo program, they regained confidence and learned how to defend themselves without resorting to violence.
While physical bullying might seem like the most obvious form of bullying, it’s only the tip of the iceberg. Many other forms of bullying are harder to spot but can be just as damaging. Up next, we’ll explore verbal bullying and how words can cut just as deep as any physical blow.
Verbal Bullying
Verbal bullying is more than just teasing or name-calling. It’s an ongoing assault that targets a child’s self-esteem, leaving wounds that aren’t always visible. Words have power, and in the wrong hands, they can be as harmful as any physical act of violence.
Verbal bullying often takes the form of insults, mockery, threats, or cruel jokes aimed at belittling the victim. Unlike physical bullying, which might happen in more public settings, verbal bullying can occur in passing or in more secluded areas, such as on the bus, during lunch, or even through whispering in the classroom. These subtle attacks can leave kids feeling powerless, as they may not feel there’s enough evidence to prove the bullying is happening.
Research shows that about 19% of U.S. students report being verbally bullied, while Canadian studies reveal that verbal bullying is one of the most common forms of aggression in schools. The emotional scars left behind by verbal bullying often lead to anxiety, depression, and a decline in academic performance. Children who face verbal bullying might withdraw from activities they once enjoyed or become overly anxious in social situations.
Let’s take an example from a middle school in Canada where one girl, Sarah, was relentlessly teased about her appearance. The constant barrage of hurtful words left her dreading school, and she eventually stopped attending after her self-esteem hit rock bottom. With the support of her parents, and by enrolling in a Taekwondo class where she rebuilt her confidence, Sarah was able to regain control over her emotions and find her inner strength.
Cyberbullying
In today’s digital age, bullying has found a new battleground-online. Cyberbullying involves using digital platforms, such as social media, texting, or gaming forums, to intimidate, harass, or shame someone. Because it happens online, cyberbullying can follow a child home, leaving them with no safe space to retreat to.
The anonymous nature of the internet often emboldens bullies to act in ways they might not in person. Cyberbullying can involve sharing embarrassing photos, sending hurtful messages, or spreading rumors that can quickly go viral. This makes the impact even more far-reaching, as what happens online often feels permanent.
According to the latest bullying statistics, about 15% of students in the U.S. have experienced cyberbullying, while Canadian reports show similar trends. The effects of cyberbullying can be devastating, leading to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and in some cases, even self-harm.
One notable case involved a young boy from Toronto who was targeted by classmates on social media. They spread false rumors and photoshopped embarrassing images of him. The emotional toll it took on him was enormous. However, with professional support and by engaging in a structured workout routine that included martial arts, he began to rebuild his self-confidence and social skills.
Parents must stay informed about their children’s online activity and encourage open communication about what’s happening on their devices. Monitoring apps, setting boundaries for screen time, and educating kids about responsible online behavior can help minimize the risks of cyberbullying.
Social/Relational Bullying
Social or relational bullying is more subtle than physical or verbal bullying but can be just as harmful, especially when it comes to a child’s emotional and mental health. This type of bullying often involves isolating a child from their peer group, spreading rumors, or manipulating friendships to damage someone’s reputation or social standing.
The key to social bullying lies in exclusion. A bully might encourage others to ignore the victim, refuse to invite them to group activities, or spread lies to alienate them from friends. This isolation can make the victim feel invisible, unwanted, and deeply lonely.
For parents, this form of bullying can be hard to detect. Your child may not show physical signs of bullying but may instead withdraw from social activities they once enjoyed. They may also seem anxious about school or start avoiding specific social settings. In severe cases, social bullying can lead to depression and other mental health challenges.
According to bullying statistics, about 30% of middle and high school students in the U.S. experience some form of social bullying, and Canadian schools report similar patterns. This type of bullying is often more common among girls, though boys can also be affected.
One powerful example comes from a middle school in Vancouver, where a girl named Emily was socially excluded by her classmates. Rumors were spread about her, and soon, even her close friends distanced themselves. The emotional toll led Emily to withdraw from her activities. However, through consistent parental support and finding a new group of friends at a Taekwondo class, Emily regained her confidence and learned the value of true friendship.
Parents can help their children navigate social bullying by encouraging open communication and teaching them how to build resilience. It’s also crucial to remind children that their worth isn’t defined by their peers but by their own strengths and values. Joining supportive groups or activities, like martial arts, can help kids develop new friendships and strengthen their self-esteem.
Building Confidence in Your Child
Emotional Bullying
Emotional bullying is often harder to spot because it involves manipulating someone’s feelings rather than causing physical harm or using direct insults. It’s a form of psychological control where the bully uses fear, shame, or guilt to dominate their victim. This type of bullying can leave deep emotional scars, often leading to long-term anxiety and self-doubt.
The bully might use tactics like gaslighting-making the victim question their reality-or constant criticism, designed to erode their self-confidence. This can make the victim feel small and powerless, often leading them to internalize their negative feelings.
Children experiencing emotional bullying may show signs such as increased anxiety, sudden changes in mood, or difficulty trusting others. They may become overly apologetic or fearful of making mistakes, as they have been conditioned to believe they are always in the wrong.
Statistics from both Canada and the U.S. suggest that emotional bullying is common but often underreported due to its more subtle nature. Roughly 20% of students report experiencing this form of bullying at some point in their school years.
Take the example of Jack, a boy from a U.S. middle school who was emotionally manipulated by a group of classmates. They constantly made him feel inferior, telling him that he didn’t belong. Over time, Jack began to withdraw from his friends and activities. With the help of his family and through engaging in a structured workout routine, including Taekwondo, Jack regained his sense of self-worth and learned how to stand up to emotional manipulation.
Parents can help by teaching their children to recognize when someone is trying to control their emotions and reminding them of their intrinsic value. Building emotional resilience through activities like martial arts, which emphasize self-control and discipline, can be especially beneficial in dealing with emotional bullying.
Conclusion
As parents, understanding the different varieties of bullying is essential in helping our children navigate these challenges. Bullying isn’t always about physical confrontations or obvious verbal attacks; it can take many forms, from social exclusion to emotional manipulation and even cyberbullying that follows kids home through their devices. Each type of bullying can leave lasting scars, affecting children’s mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
By recognizing the signs early and fostering open communication, you can step in before the bullying leaves a deeper impact. Support your child by encouraging them to share their experiences and providing them with the tools to stand up for themselves, whether it’s through building emotional resilience or finding a positive outlet like a workout routine or martial arts program to boost their confidence.
Taking action doesn’t just stop bullying-it teaches your child how to handle conflict, build healthy relationships, and grow into a stronger, more resilient person. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Resources, schools, and professionals are available to help guide both you and your child through these tough situations.
Worried your child might be experiencing bullying?
Download our free Bullying Checklist and start essential conversations with your child today. This guide will help you spot the signs and give you the tools to open up meaningful discussions that can make all the difference in your child’s life.
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Start protecting your child from bullying and build their confidence with simple, effective strategies. It’s never too early to begin.
Facing bullying can be incredibly challenging, but you don’t have to face it alone.
Reach out to these dedicated helplines for support and guidance.
In the Swift Current area, please reach out to Fresh Start at 306-773-8168
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be contacted at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
The National Bullying Prevention Center can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, Kids Help Phone offers assistance at 1-800-668-6868, and the Canadian Centre for Child Protection can be reached at 1-855-596-4222.
Remember, help is just a call away.
Gary Voysey
Master Voysey has been practicing martial arts for over 30 years. He is currently a 5th Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo
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